After 6 months , here i am again ... part 34

It has been approximately half a year ever since I wrote my last personal blog . Well , I guess it’s time again …

Hi everybody , I am Leng Yein , a 22 years old girl who came all the way from a small town , Kuantan where everybody just seemed to hate me so much the second they wave goodbye to me but were seen smiling the second I turned back and wave again *crazy*  Guess what, now after a year staying alone in this big city , heart of Malaysia , Kuala Lumpur , the same yet not so different situation had repeated itself again I guess …

I remembered when I had to leave all my businesses behind in Kuantan , family problems caused me owing the bank so much , came down alone to this place , having no place to stay , with RM600 in my pocket yet still got cheated , being runaway by my agent being the pianist in Sunway Pyramid Tower Hotel , so I gave up on the clean money and chose my path to do some dinner jobs here n there, having some sad thoughts alone at night at the cheap backpackers hotel along petaling street , be-friended all kind of women and girls all along the way , man , im glad it’s over now …

The birth of Models Magazine , for incidents that I’ve gone through myself all along the way , I’ve decided to start something to help those who’re going through the same path like me , at least , to let them know that they’re not left alone when they almost give up on everything . Things changes all the time , and that changes a person too … changes the way they look at things , changes the way they do things , changes their life , others life as well … life is not just about ourselves , its meaningful when you have a big family …

My life was just about myself back then , coz I felt that no one truly appreciate things that I have done for them , and backstab me after they got things that hey want from me . I felt so used all the time . But then I joined friendster , and impressively this little room changes me a lot . Not the FANS profile , but friends … Really nice people around the world gathering around my little room , keeping in touch all the time . I had never met most of my friends here , but most of them made me feel that my life are worth staying on , grounded and appreciated . Whenever I lost myself here n there , there’s only a click away to find myself again , here … And I start to feel that friends are not necessary those whom u met since you’re a toddler , but those who sincerely care when things happened to you , friends are there when u close your eyes , and you know that you’re not alone …

So to all the people who hated me even before they met me in person , it is ok . Coz I believe that the same thing happen to you too … Life goes on you know … the circle of karma too … Everyone has more about the same experience in life . States of life when u felt that everything ur parents says doesn’t seemed to click , everything ur boyfriend says seemed so right , states when everybody seemed to hate you or anti you , states where you seemed to be in the limelight all the time and everybody just loves you , states where everything seemed so unfair to you , states where everything u do had been accepted and your dream come true , states where you’d wished everybody understands the things that you’re doing , states when you don’t care about anything others says about you anymore , states where you start thinking hecking everybody and yourself is the only thing that matters to you , states where you’ll do anything just to get what you want , states where you start cursing for hours on little things that you’re unhappy of , states where you wanna kill yourself but you wanna kill that person who hurt u first before u kill urself , states where you cant even remember how many states there is in your own country , yes ? So , don’t be upset when few people around you want to ruin your life so bad . They’ll do everything to make everybody hates you . It’s ok . Someday somehow , same things happens to them and they’ll just blame others . They wont understand , coz if they did, they wouldn’t be backstabbers . Smile coz you are not like them =) Even if u don’t have that many friends as those people do , soon or later you’ll find yourlself a lot of true friends …

I’ve learned to do everything by myself , probably because too many people try to fail everything that I do , so I try my best not to allow myself failing myself again … Models magazine , from bottoms up , I’ve learned a lot from the people around me … And through this project , I am thankful because I’ve stepped a step closer to the mirror where I can see who had changed for the step that I’ve made. I am very thankful to all those who stood aside and watched me going through all the dilemma and being supportive when others try to fail this project . I heard people saying I am just trying to use other new faces to be famous ß Aih ! , I have sugar daddy behind my back ß thanks for imagining my perfect life , I am a good pretender ß thank you , I am very manipulative ß clap clap clap ! , that my money came from someone / somewhere else ß your bank ? , some people are trying to psycho people around me to stay away from the project … it’s a bit heartbreaking but it is ok , people have their own right to believe what they chose to believe so I’ll just stay out from the conflict I guess .

To those people who wanted to see Models Magazine fail so fast , have mercy please . It was out in market only for a day now . Can’t you only start cursing after , maybe a week ? At least a little chance for the poor project … The worst you can do is not buying it , but please don’t say that the new faces inside are not good enough , complaining about the new faces’ standards and qualities . Did you not know the actual purpose of the magazine ? To give a chance to those people who had been treated like dirt , like they’re nobody , like they’re never good enough . This is a chance where they can stand up for themselves and speak out to the world that they are worth something , that they are trying to change into someone better , they are good people. They are sincere , they are friendly , lovely , caring , loving . They learn , and they appreciate … If you keep teasing them , you are not making their life any better , do you want them to stay being low self-esteem all the time ? Why ? So that you feel good coz you know that you are better than them ? Why are you so mean ? If you don’t like to see them changing into someone better , you are so selfish . Imagine if you are one of them , how would u feel ? Put urself in other’s shoes sometimes … get the whole picture …

I do not mind how you go around telling people about me ( kindly remember that you do not know me and I do not know you too ) but please be kind for once not to bring those new faces down . For so long so many people had been mean to them , they’re suffering from being low self-esteem , always thinking that they are not good enough and they had to quietly suffer all that alone . Just for once , please , let them have a chance to breath and feel happy , and smile . They do not want to be a supermodel , they just want to be appreciated and feel good about themselves , that’s all . Is it too much to ask ? Have a heart , please …

To all the kind hearted people , public , medias and photographers , thanks for attending all the events of the new faces . You might not know what they’ve told me , with tears and laughter , they are very very happy , thankful and grateful for everything that you’ve done for them … I know some of you got fired by strangers who doesn’t support the new faces but all your effort are deeply appreciated by all of us . We will always stay grounded and remember all your kindness toward us . These new faces promised to keep changing and bringing their best to you , better and better as time comes . If there’s any faults during our process of growing up together in this family , I sincerely apologize to all of you . I know there is no excuse for making faults but I really do hope that you can forgive us because we admit that we are not perfect and we might make mistakes here and there along the way but we will accept our faults and we will learn , and not repeat our mistakes again … give us a chance … we will improve …

To all the people out there around the world , I know that some of you are too far to come all the way here to Malaysia to give some sincere support for the new faces but your love and care will always be appreciated and remembered .

It had been a meaningful journey throughout the whole process of the making of the first issue of Models Magazine … the ‘’behind-the-scene’’ and ‘’things-that-u’ll-never-ever-know and feel’’ experiences had left me so many unforgettable stories … and so many meaningful lesson and experiences in life for me …

Words can never tell how grateful we are to all of you … we owe you a lot , and we shall repay you by being a sincere and genuine friend … a family … for life … no matter where we ended up to be in the future … we are a family … and this family is growing … with love , care and sincerity … trying to make a difference by touching other’s life … learning to accept , care and love …

If everybody learned to love , this world would be so beautiful …

Love Always ,

Leng Yein

ps : To all our team who helped us along the way in completing the first issue of Models Magazine , YOU , made this happen ... i sincerely thank you so so so much and more ...

Comments

['-Candice-']

leng yein jie, wanna ley u know that i love reading ur blog!! seriously!! may all the good fortunes fall upon u!! muaks!!

[Evon]

God will bless you with loves ^^love from your family, friends and your supporters^^

[Kuromi danielle]

All the best!

[- TeReNce -]

Congrats on the launch of Models Mag and when the going gets tough, remember the day when the sun shines brightly and lead you happily away! Peace and take care!~

[♥ YuMi ♥]

Hi leng yein! I'm really proud of you what you've done all by yourself. Independent and never given up for yourself in life. I hope i wish to be like you as i also had some difficult path after broke up, been cheated and so on. Sigh~

I'm wondering that is it model must be young enough to be? It's such a silly question, isn't it? To be frank, i'd like to try to be a model, unfortunately my height and age already got problem. Haha~

Anyway, congrats on the launch of models mag and it was really successful that you've done well! Ganbatte! p(^o^)q

All the best to you. (^_~)

[Jefferson]

You're human like the rest of us... we have done mistakes, been to the worst situation & being misunderstood. All I can say is that, you've made this dream possible... to be who you are & helping people achieve what you think they can be. Be happy & take life a step at a time...

[Asa]

I think you are hardcore chick! I really respect you by just reading your blog for the first time! Stay strong no matter what ppl say! hehe.

[YinMun]

Leng Yein Jie....i will support u as always....You are strong...no matter what is the forthcoming, please remember we are here for you....Be there for you, be your good listener....Cheers Jie.... ^_^

[Niky]

You are Superwoman to me. By read your profile know your story like an actress done all alot job/things.
Wish you All the best.

Warmerst Regards,
Niky

[Eejin]

After reading your blog,i really appreciate for what i have..
I realise that i am a lucky one,with happy lovely family and got a chance to be futher educated..
Reading your blog is just like a lesson to me..=)

[Swee Ling]

Hey,Leng Yein jie!!!I really LUVVV to read ur blog!!!^^ It kinda reminds us to appreaciate wat we hav in life~~~XP U r the best!!!^^

[' ' ' ' 'CarmeN]

well done leng lui!!!muacksxxxxxxxx

[sindy]

Leng Yein,you are the great people. . all the best to you in 2008!!!

[mrdunno]

i luv it.
the way u accept mistakes and misfortune upon u .
u never look back and u never blame the past.
and i believe that its the past that mould ur present.
u wont be the person u are now if it waasnt bcause of the past.
with all my heart, may ur path leads u to a better brighter journey.
but remember that in every journey the dark cloud will visit us again to say hello and if that time do comes... smile upon the cloudy sky and say hello as well.
u r a smart person who experienced alot. i know u will understand me ^^
peace out~

[B for Beng]

Hey Leng Yein, good job !

[Alwin]

Chin up.
Smile.

Those who understand, those that realize and are able to see that this ain't just a magazine - will appreciate your work..appreciate you and your aspirations.

"All glory comes from daring to begin."

[AinA CheE]

Hi Leng Yein,

Have been follow thru your friendster profile and blog for quite some time. U really amaze me!! Such an outstanding personality and attitude and thinking! YOU ARE REALLY AMAZING!! saliva watering when viewing your photos.. Hahaha.. ok... just kidding..
Actually I am visual artist working in Lewre(a local shoe's brand). In future, if you needed any shoes for fashion show or photo shooting or anything, i might can give u a helping hand.
Its really great to see u put so much of effort to making the Model Magazine happen and fulfill girls dream. A big applause to you.
If there's anything that i could help, pls dun hesitate to let me know.
Keep it up! Cheers!!

[ramesh]

hi leng yein,
its been awhile since i last heard from you but by reading these i think u should do watever it takes for you to reach watever your goal.Its not about earning clean money or not clean money.Its about survival of the fittest. I think that the world is a cruel world and you should do watever it takes to succeed. People can call you a whore, backstabber or a slut but you should give a shit about it. I thiink you should do watever it takes for you to succeed your mission in Model Magazine. Good Luck and hope to hear from you soon.

[yue xin]

states where you wanna kill yourself but you wanna kill that person who hurt u first before u kill urself
" ^-^ "

states where you cant even remember how many states there is in your own country " lol " " /o/ "

[yue xin]

gambate ne ly! u r jz an amazing girl.

[Edward]

Hi again, leng yein. i've only met you personally once, but through your blogs i feel like i've known you for quite some time. Reading on your challenges makes me realize how easy my life has been and how I'm in totally no position to complain at all! Congrats on the launch of Model's Magazine. I've finally gotten my hands on a copy. It's a great piece. Can't exactly call it a magazine. That would be unfair to your project as it's much more than just magazine. It's a guide, a promise, a talent show, an opportunity and much more. Model's Magazine has my full support, now and always. Gambate, Leng Yein! Forget about those negative comments. Just keep your mind and focus on those who'll be benefiting from it.

Awaiting anxiously for the second copy to be out,
Edward

[Jen Ai Chung]

ah jie.. u know we got your back..!!!

[Keith]

where can i get the magazine?? cant find it anywhere

[Keith]

where can i get the magazine?? cant find it anywhere...just wanted to know how it does n especially the phtos... :)

[el]

Leng Yein, great to read ur blog agian. Be strong & sincere always ya !! of ya.. do remember keep reaching for the star but always keep ur feet on the ground !!

[Ehuey]

u r amazing! lots of the pics in yr album are of top quality!! u go gal!!!

[ClarIsE]

hey,leng yein!yo blog is meaningful!i love reading it!
ganbaten on yo new magazine!support u alwz =)

[SAM sam]

hey leng yein, i also ur fans and definetely like ur blogs.. God will bless you and hope ur business will gained more money!!!

[Adrian]

you made it girl, totally deserve it!

but your blog's layout making it pain to read..
or maybe i am getting old..

[-I'mJoEy-]

i dont have ur angle face, i dont have ur angle body shape =p but i wish i have the intelligent, courage, superb positive thinking and ur superb EQ u have...

hehe...the 1st time i step in here read ur blog...and oso ur profile...insipre me a lot... however, im just a very very normal girl compare to u...(p/s im same age with u)...wish u all the best and ur Model Magazine will be top selling soon!!!

Ganbatey neh~

[MizZ]

Hey girl, never know u before. But after reading ur blogs, i'm sure ur such a tough n nice girl inside.
Keep fighting the damn big world ok.
Wish u all the best thing in the world ~_~ peace...

[Tauni]

hi, where can i buy the models magazine? glad that you're success in wht you believe.. cheers :)

[viavia]

Hi LengYein,
Congrates for your newly launched Model Magazine!!
Altho i dont know you, but what u've written is absolutely true in life!!
Your success tells...so stay tough! Will be supporting you from now! :)

[Darren]

Hi Leng Yein,

I think your success is all you deserve. Keep it up! Life is just full of possibilities isn't it..i'm sure you'd agree.
Take care

[Ken Yuen]

Jz a call away. :)

[Miss EmeLyn]

i respect u!
i totally agree with u~
i will support u!

all the best!

[Nicolas]

cant believe that you're come from nothing and now u get so famous... good! go on. i support u! all the best!

[Freddy]

What a well written blog, totally agreed with u on ur principle of life. It's no easy path in life but girl, u ve done it & been there. Congrats & keep going girl & u always ve our support. All d very best.

[Kreeztie]

hi Leng Yein....i love the whole contents tat u had written in ur blog..So TOUCHINGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG and really impressed me so much..u such a talented and perfect writer wit a beautiful heart and kind personality..May God Bless ya in whatever u do and everywhr u go gal..cheersss and take care always....

[aNDrew Soo]

What do u believe in this world?
Deeply in ur heart, do u really trust on all of ur friends ?
Frankly speaking, have u ever lie to urself or to any of ur good friends?
Hav u ever feel suspicious of ur frens behaviour?
Do u blame on anyone becoz of ur life ?
The path of our life is hold within our hands. We choose the path, we force to choose the path, we choose the path for the sake of others. Do we really have the right to choose our path in our life?
We may choose, but Will we regret on the path? or in Return, do we gain anything?
Will we appreciate on the intangible benefits and rewards?
Human are natural in talking and gossips is always around.
We cant avoid being talking by others, or we talk bout other ppl. It's natural, without being noticed when we gossip.
Reality world, the strangle of power, money and status will never stop. The Greed of humans, the heart of chasing one of another is naturally born within us. The surrounding, the living, the atmosphere of us, is a part of the greed in our heart born.
If even u dont understand bout urself, then no one could understand u better, outsider onnly view from the perspect of wat they see bout us, they cant see certain prospect of ourself in our own. Tat's why there is alwiz a diff thought from diff ppl around in this world.
A true fren, will trust and heartly frankly at all times, someone who understanding, supporting, helps, and guiding the right path, together walks and all for d sake of u or him/her as a true friend. never count and never hope for any returns, or neveer dream 2 gains benefit in the sake of 2gether as a true friend.

[MaryGrace]

Dear Ms. Leng Yein,

Aloha =) smile..
While im reading your blog as well as the comments from your fans and sincere friends all over the world, it melts my heart and mades me cry or have a teary eye..see how much we love and appreciate you?! they had said all meaningful and beautiful appreciations to you and i guess i had nothing to say na!!haha =) your a fighter, you can make it as always, forgot the stabbers they just envy you because at your age your just one in a million combination of all..success,beauty,talent and so much more!! we wanted to become just like you..hehe..
Pain and failure is just part of life and every person has a burden carrying in their heart..but God loves you so much for having a humble and kindhearted heart, giving a chance to other people to feel that their special too..

HAppy Birthday Dear!! more success to you,be happy always!!

Support to your mag!! i want to have a copy of it but i dont know how=) haha.. supporters please continue to support!! ok!! smile..

Love,
MAryGrace=)

[regine]

Hi, Leng Yein...I couldn't imagine how you gone thru during your hard time. But, you make it! Although there is still long way to go and life isn't all fun. However, you got all the supports and loves from your friends. You are deserving with what you having now. If those peoples who like to see someone fail, i think we cant do anything to control their BAD mind or mouth. BUT...thanks to them coz it would enchanced your courage and the POWER to prove to everyone you did it well! Keep on moving! You got my support! (Even i'm no one to u , haha...but i respect how you managed your life) cheers...

regine

[ஐ 阿娜的归来 ஐ]

ALL THE BEST (,")

[handsum]

Hi Leng Yein ,

Read through your blog .. really impresed me was your determination and courage which I believe is a BIG bonus. Who ever say beauty is only the surface ... you , baby , are beautiful inside and outside ... believe me, that is more truthful and sustaining .... do take care of yourself ... if u need help do email me ..

Cheers

[Eric]

Once see u in real person in your mamak in prima setapak..
and at the same time spoted a sport car in front of the mamak shop.
Never thought a young lady can be so successful in such an early age.. again its prove age is not a matter... people might hate u but i think that its because they just jealous on you. Gambateh.. tough time will never last but tough people do..!

[永恒の梦]

wow darling u got a whole pile of comments...hahah...guess u dun mind me dropping by sum??ehehe

wish u all the best on the coming up mag^^...dun worry...evryone heard of ur mag...n yes!!...ur mag r getting famous...jz dat itz kinda expensive...hehehe...but jz a support for yar...nyway...those new faces looks HOT!!...aww..if you need any help for makeup...do call me yar..^^...we're all rdy for u...n ur mag...jz a call^^..gud luck in evrything....dun bother bout anyone dat critics on new faces..dey might be jealous cz they're not in the pages..be happy owes!!...love yar darling...

[YK]

I am very surprised that a beauty like yourself actually gone through so much as I always feel that beautiful girls are always smooth sailing. Keep up your spirit and I think if "Model Magazine" is as strong as yourself, it will be a success.

[Ivan]

Even your world is grey in colour, don't feel disappointed. Use your brightness to change the current situation. Soon or later, your world' will be colourful again.

Always bare in mind, do whatever you believe it is right. That's my principle of my life...

[oOo Netster oOo]

you inspire me. I'm blessed to come across a person like you.

regards

[wEi ChUnG]

lol

[Yul]

since when i started to love reading on Jie's bloggies..touched and motivated..Thanks Jie for sharing ^.~

[-WatanabeAkira-]

you are tough girl. Salute!!!