The Fall ... part 28

I believe that the true test of character is not how much we know how to do , but how we behave when we don't know what to do. There's nothing such as a certain right or wrong , it solely depends on how u want to put it and let it be ... does right or wrong really matters anyway ? What do u earn from winning ? Is it worth the part that you're losing ?

When you're at the most downside of your life, u tend to see things clearer. Coz each move u make mean so much , so much more than the same move u take during normal days. It can be the same topic , the same discussion , the same joke , the same thoughts , regardless of whether it's u or others , one wont understand until we're left alone n stuck in the situation .

No matter what other says , no matter what other does doesn't seemed to bother or matters to u anymore. Coz the decision that u make lies on nobody else in the world but u ... n the pain that u bear , gosh , makes u felt so heartless ... dying ? It doesnt matters anymore , my heart dies the second the decision was made final ... it'll be alright soon ? i dont think so . This incident breaks me apart ... For these 22 years of my life , i never felt so torn before . I know i could never mend all the pieces back together , it was never meant to be mended ... it were never to be accepted ... wasn't given a slight chance to , im sorry , im so so sorry ... God ~

I felt as though i have no heart ... where have all the love gone ? For all my life i've been loving everyone else around me , but why is it so different this time . I am so lost ... this is the best for everyone ? But what about me ? What about ... oh my god , where is all the love ? Where is justice n fairness ? What about my life ? What about how i feel ? What about my dream ? I really break apart n fall this time , deep n hard ...

God bless all of you ...

May you find peace , love & care ... I will never forget you ... never ... I Love You so much ... so so much ... im so sorry ... so very sorry ...

Love,
Leng Yein